You yourself, deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the entire universe

C.S. Lewis once said, “In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then, there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.”

If you can’t think of at least one person for each example given, I truly think you’re lying to yourself. I can sit here and name off multiple people for each section that come to mind, but I won’t go that far just yet. As the first month of 2015 is coming to a close, I’m still trying to grasp the concept of loving myself fully. This has been an on-going battle since I could remember, probably since I was about a sophomore in high school, so right around seven years. There’s that typical saying that goes something like if you can’t love yourself, how do you expect others to love you? I can sit here and name off at least five reasons why I don’t love myself, but in retrospect it doesn’t make sense. I’ll tell you why; we don’t really see ourselves like others do. We only see our reflections in a mirror. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed dreaming behind our closed eyelids, we don’t see ourselves reading a book with our eyes glowing and eager to turn the page. We don’t see the way our face brightens when we are looking at someone we deeply love and care about. So why is this still an issue in 2015? Why can’t we just love ourselves?

I’ll tell you why. Society is fucked up. Little girls see nothing but super models or Victoria Secret models, and aspire to look like them. They think it’s normal. Clothes are becoming skimpier and skimpier. Since when did attention become something that everyone is begging for? Since when did a perfect list of qualities for a future significant other become the sole basis on which we choose someone? “Oh sorry, I only date blondes.” “Sorry, you’re just a little bit to overweight for me.” This multitude of apps or dating websites, Tinder, Farmer’s Only, Black People Meet, Christian Mingle, etc. all ask for preferences of who you’re looking for or you rate them based solely on physical appearance . You’re not going off what they’ve been through or what has made them the person they are today. Let me tell you something, you are NOT, your bra size or the width of your waist. You aren’t defined by the amount of attention you’re getting, or how many calories you’re burning in a day. Who gives a shit? Who you are is the character that you have. Who you are is defined by the ambitions that keep you going. Who you are is made up of the personal goals that you set. And if someone tells you that you’re not good enough, walk away. Trust me, I know what your initial reaction will be, I’ve been there. To save you some trouble, don’t wallow in self-pity, don’t make a list of things you want to change about yourself. Don’t let whoever is telling you that you’re not good enough win. Because you ARE good enough, you have become this person you are today based on what has happened to you. Why let a stranger or someone who doesn’t deserve your time ruin that for you? The only person that knows everything about you is you. Believe in yourself. Love yourself, or it will control your life.

I’m on the right track-I have a great family, great friends, and a decent job. When I look in the mirror, I don’t cringe like I used too. Are there days that I want to give up? Yes. Are there days where I let others define how I feel? Yes. However, I’m choosing to make 2015 the year that I become a better version of myself, because I deserve this. For those of you reading, you deserve to start new and fresh. Change is good, change is inevitable. And for all of you who are choosing to join me in my journey, I’m asking that you hold me accountable for that, just like I will hold you accountable. Let’s do this.

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